Update - more or less a vent

I've been wanting to update or at least find a place to vent safely about what's all been happening for me here in my life.

I've been working since I graduated back in December with my Bachelor's degree. It's been difficult, not gonna lie. I've not socialized with hardly anyone since my time doing classes and working so much has been taking a toll on my own mental health. Physically, I'm fine. Mentally, I'm wishing to scream.

The hardest for me has been financial struggles. Not that I'm in a bad spot or can back away from what I enjoy, it's just the adjustment that has been hard. I thought that once I graduated I would have things all figured out...boy was I wrong.

The other hard part for me has been wanting to get myself back into therapy. Long story short, a couple of years ago at an old job I went through a pretty traumatic experience that caused my anxiety and depression to overflood and burst through the gates, so to speak. I was getting panic and anxiety attacks almost every other day. Not just the ones where you feel you can't breathe, but I would be literally crying every night because I was afraid to go to sleep. I was afraid to deal with the next day and be alone in my struggles.

It's also been hard due to having to still live with my folks. My family is not bad, in fact, I love them to death. My parents are supportive and do help me out, even if it's not always perfect. Do I hate it? I do, I feel like I'm still dependent on them when I wish to do things on my own.

So why am I rambling so much? I guess what I'm looking for is just a guide on what I can do next. I work full time and I do have some aid to help me..but I'm also struggling to get those things done because I'm terrified of my debt that I'm having to pay off. Because of my fear, I'm afraid I'll snap back into doing nothing but paying for a bunch of things just so I can cope.

With all of these things going against me, that's also part of why I haven't been drawing or even having a difficult time updating my WIPs and such. It was already hard enough while attending classes, now it's impossible to get what I want done.

So yeah..it's just a lot of things. I'm still pushing and trying, but my biggest goals are these: find a therapist I can afford with my shitty insurance, get any unnecessary debt out of the way, and start my projects. I want to do side things while I have a full time job to make some bit of extra money along with possibly being able to save up just a bit so I can go back to get my Master's in the near future.

If any of have advice, you can share it my way. I just wanted a safe place to get some weight off of my chest. Maybe with me writing this out it'll give me some kind of motivation. Not sure if it will but it's at least worth a try.

Hope you are all having a good summer or at least a decent time. Hope to see you all soon!